Trumplandia: Jan. 19 — 26, 2019

Good one

THE SHINBONE STAR

Pulling Away the Ol’ Pigskin Edition

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APPROVAL ALERT AT PRESS TIME:
FiveThirtyEight Poll: 39.3% — percentage points lower than last week
Rasmussen Poll: 45% — same as last week

Welcome to Trumplandia, a place where with a bit of wit and snark, we keep the world caught up on all of the tasty Nuggets-O-Trump you may have heard about but were too busy to care. Because most of this minutia occurs just below the massive headlines about the POTUS, it’s in a land of its own. Here, an infusion of social media, video clips and print media meld with our outdated political views to make more delicious “Fake News” about our Commander-in-Chief.

So just like the president, we start it all with a little tweet like this:

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The toddler-in-chief gets a time out

In the corner now🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

THE SHINBONE STAR

Finally!

Just like any other mature (and sane) adult dealing with a spoiled, tantrum-throwing toddler, Nancy Pelosi was finally able to put Donald Trump in the timeout corner. It’s long overdue and well-deserved.

It wasn’t that hard, either. Basically, Nancy stood up to the man-child. When she said “no,” she meant “no.” You know, kind of like when our parents disciplined us before all the new rules of parenting sprouted up, along with the kiddie kale smoothies and organic cotton burp sheets. Democrats just need to stand their ground and let this giant orange baby cry about his damned wall. Ignore him, he’ll stop soon enough.

It will be interesting to see how things play out. Trump knows about as much as we do when it comes to Congress, and his ignorance shined through this past week. He might not even realize that he didn’t win. Or maybe he was…

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The Donald’s ‘Cowboys’ Include Doctors and Lawyers and Such

THE SHINBONE STAR

Editor’s note: The conversations featured here are the product of the author’s memory, with the intent of preserving long-held friendships with people he hopes will regain their mental equilibrium once The Donald and his cohorts vacate the White House.

* * *

They didn’t grow up to be cowboys, thanks in large part to their mamas. They were doctors and lawyers and such, as Waylon and Willie sang about decades ago. Others were once bankers or government workers in some of the more difficult administrative jobs on the federal, state and local level.

These are my friends and family members from more than 50 years spent grinding out a paycheck in stops ranging from Delaware to Texas. People I grew to respect for many reasons as we confronted the challenges of making ends meet, raising and supporting families, and finding time to share a few beach encounters along the way…

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Is Ellen the anti-Trump?

THE SHINBONE STAR

Ellen DeGeneres, left, with wife Portia de Rossi. — Kevin Mazur/Getty Images

A year-old tweet by Eric Trump has recently made the rounds on Facebook for some reason. In it, he posited that Ellen DeGeneres is part of the “Deep State” that is looking to overthrow his father’s administration.

It seems he drew this conclusion when Twitter suggested that he follow DeGeneres, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. In true conspiracy-theory fashion, Eric sussed out a connection.

DeGeneres, of course, denied it, calling Eric’s accusation “the craziest thing” on her syndicated talk show. But maybe it’s not as crazy as it seems. Oh, she seems genial and harmless enough, and you’d think the talk show host/comedian would be busy enough without having the time to plot a coup.

But think about it: Ellen just might be the anti-Trump. She’s a liberal and a lesbian, two things that Trump’s base abhors. But apart from that…

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Marsha Still Hates His Lips

THE SHINBONE STAR

For Trump, tonight’s address to the nation was about everything but a wall. For the Democrats it was about obstinance, unreasonableness and lying. What it wasn’t about was a flat rejection by either side for the proposals of the other.

Somebody really smart got to Trump. He is too pig headed to listen to people who know more about many things than he does otherwise. The fact that he mentioned the so-called “Wall” last, after a recitation of horrors designed to set the mood, suggests he is ready to abandon his lost cause by transforming it into another manufactured crisis waiting in the wings.

The Dems, on the other hand, with Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Ca.) and Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) so somber at the podium, looked like they were offering a requiem for a pathetic soul who had died unloved and soon to be forgotten in their…

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