Will Captain Bone Spurs Save The Children?

Time for our hero to pony up.

THE SHINBONE STAR

THE NEW REPUBLIC ILLUSTRATION

It was a stormy day in Florida when Lyin’ Donald Trump revealed his hand was actually a powerful iron fist hidden in a tiny velvet glove.

“I really believe I’d run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon,” Trump revealed to assembled governors gathered at the White House to discover what Mr. Trump intended to do about the epidemic of merciless mass killings by madmen armed with legal killing machines. The governors were apparently concerned they might have to do something desperate like calling for legislation, but lucked out when an idiot started explaining to them why guns are good for schools.

It was only after the entire education system of the United States had come under attack from those pesky guys with guns that the man in the White House who everybody thought was a candy-ass revealed he would have braved automatic weapons…

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