When you’re out of toilet paper, you’re out of everything


Two events of momentous significance occurred yesterday.

The first was the signing of the so-called Tax Cut and Jobs Act which must change its name to something equally banal to satisfy Senate rules. Perhaps naming it “The Plundering Tax and Screw Job Plan” is more appropriate.

The second event was a wonderful commentary on the mindset of ordinary people. It was revealed when my wife exclaimed that our order for two rolls of  two-ply toilet paper bearing Donald Trump’s picture had been canceled due to huge demand.

The first event has been adequately covered by everyone looking for something to despise over the Christmas holidays. Merry Christmas, suckers.

The second event is actually good news. It means there is no shortage of people who hate Trump so much that they want to clean their bottoms with his face. They despise him so much, in fact, that they exhausted the supply of…

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