Reprieved Turkey Demands Execution of Sentence

THE SHINBONE STAR

President Trump pardons Drumstick the turkey after Wishbone the turkey escaped having her giblets groped by the president.

White House, Washington, D.C. — A reprieved turkey named Wishbone reportedly tweeted the Turkey-In-Chief that she wanted to die just hours before disappearing. The aggrieved turkey was demanding a kinder fate than letting Mr. Trump put his tiny hands all over its breasts and thighs.

Within hours of the pleading tweet, the unserved entrée disappeared, leaving behind a few plucked feathers and a bloodstained note FBI agents are currently examining.

“Feeling me up like livestock ain’t making it anymore,” the note said in barely legible hen scratch.

Two congressional committees and the Department of Justice Special Prosecutors Office are demanding copies of Wishbone’s final missive.

The note is an apparent reference to Honest and Abe,  two turkeys pardoned by former President Barack Obama in 2015. Those birds are now leading pampered lives in Virginia.

The turkey sharing a…

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